Sentence 4I ask him a question and he won't answer ... is a blame statement. Communicated responsibly it might go like this, "I don't know how to have him answer my questions." Or, "Only recently I discovered that I have not had the intention of getting answers to my questions. My pattern has been to ask an excellent question and to intend to not get an answer (to set up the other person to avoid telling me the truth) and then blame them for my unconscious sabotaging of the relationship" Notice the use of the word "have." Most people try to "get" another to answer. When someone is trying to "get another to ...." there is no space. One has no choice. |